BDSM Gay Orgies

Orgies seem to be back in fashion, with hedonists flocking to private gatherings instead of swinger clubs. These events are often held at a private home or kinky hotel suite for the entire weekend.

Orgies can be fun, but they are also dangerous without good communication and respect of boundaries. Here are some BDSM gay orgy tips to help prevent bad encounters.

1. Know Your Guests

Most orgies are private parties that require an invite and sometimes even a password. These events are not advertised on the internet or stamped on flyers stuffed under windshield wipers, they are invitation only, word of mouth affairs. These sex parties are often more intense and intimate than your local gay bars or clubs.

The first thing you want to do is get to know your guests before the horny fun begins. Getting to know your guests beforehand will help you avoid uncomfortable situations. If this is your first time attending a sex party you should go with a friend. This will help you to feel more comfortable in the situation and also allow you to have someone to play with.

It is important to respect the privacy of the host and not forward the invite to your entire contact list. Most hosts prefer to have guests they know and trust, this will also make it easier for them to invite you back. It is also important to be on time. Arriving late will disrupt the vibe of the event and make you feel awkward.

2. Have a Dark Room

A sex-free space is an important element of any orgy. It allows guests to take a break when they’re feeling overwhelmed, tired or sexed out, and it also maintains balance by reiterating that sex isn’t everything at an orgy.

If you’re new to BDSM or gay bondage, this is an important tip to keep in mind. It’s tempting to jump right in and start dominating a man, but it’s best to start small and work your way up slowly.

Likewise, if you’re uncomfortable with role-play or power-control scenarios, don’t be afraid to use a safe word to call for a halt. It’s completely normal to feel uncomfortable at an orgie, but it isn’t okay for people to push you even after you’ve stated your boundaries. Use community boards on SDC or Kasidie to find out about orgy-related events and parties in your area. You’ll be able to read about both success stories and epic failures, which will give you a good sense of whether or not an orgy is something you want to explore.

3. Have a Non-Sex Room

Whether you’re a bottom who wants to be topfed or a dominant curious about submission, sex parties are great places to test your limits. They’re also a good place to meet guys who have similar interests and play styles. However, it’s important to remember that these are not open-door events. Unless the host explicitly invites you, it’s best to respect their space and leave when you’re done.

If you want to make your orgy extra fun, have TV monitors in multiple areas looping porn videos (or a computer with VOD clips). Leave some nasty porn magazines and sleazy art books out as well. You might also consider having a hardcore porn room, a twink porn room or even a bareback basement.

It’s also a good idea to have a “dark room” that is dark and quiet for those who need a break from the action. It’s not uncommon for guys to get stuck in a sex party lull. If you’ve been attending sex parties for a while, try some one-on-one experiences to get out of your groove and explore new kinks like bondage or gay orgy.

4. Don’t Overstay Your Welcome

Often, orgy hosts will only accept people they know. This is so they can keep the party exclusive, and the crowd safe. Some sex parties have specific rules regarding consent, condom usage, safe words, and general party etiquette.

The number one rule of a play party is clear verbal consent for any sex act. This can be challenging for many participants who may find themselves wanting to push their boundaries. This is especially true if drinking or drugs are being consumed.

If you find yourself wanting to go beyond what is safe or comfortable, please ask the person playing with you to stop. They should be understanding and respect your wishes. They will likely ask you what turns you on as well so they can tailor their experience to what turns you on. However, some participants have a hard time saying “no.” This is where knowing your own hard limits and communicating them with sex partners in advance comes in handy. Also, if someone is extremely uncomfortable with their play, it’s important to be kind and help them.

5. Be On Time

Having an idea of what to expect at an orgie will help ease first-time participants’ nerves. A great place to start is reading community boards on sites like SDC and Kasidie. You can find a range of success stories and epic failures, giving you an accurate picture of what to expect from group sex parties.

Remember, the key to successful orgies is not sex but connection and respect. If you have a friend who has invited you, make an effort to speak with them, introduce yourself and break the ice before starting the party. This will show the host that you are a person that they can trust.

It’s also important to be punctual. It can be incredibly off-putting for people to arrive late at an orgie. If you have a reason for being late, let the hosts know ahead of time and be prepared to explain yourself.